Hi All,
Once again I'm back to apologize for abandoning the blog. Totally unintentional, but it happened.
To be honest, I've been having a rough time. I didn't really want to bore whoever still reads this with it, but I've been in perhaps the deepest and darkest depression that I've had in 30 years or so. Many people online are sharing their stories, and I think overall that's a good thing. I don't really want to do that here, I just wanted to sort of explain myself a little. I've always felt like my blog was more or less like having a conversation with people about what we are mutually interested in.
So the gist of it is this. I'm going to be changing the blog and perhaps the way I do hobby. Right now the things I've been doing for the last few years are not doing it for me, so I'm going to work towards finding the joy in the hobby rather than let the dark side of my thoughts get in the way.
I'm going to go back to a more of "this is what I'm doing" rather than a completely polished" what I've done" approach. (I know, my polished may be the WIP of someone else.)
Anyway, the blog will be nine years old at the end of the week. I had hoped to have retooled it and having some new posts, but I've had another life gut punch in the interim. So it may be a little while until I can really get back into the full swing of regular posting.
I've also been very irritated by all the spam on blogger these days. Perhaps that is because I'm not really active on it and I'm getting notifications from other blogs that are semi abandoned as well.
Anyway, I am getting help for my depression and, gut punch aside, things are getting better. It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to be open about it. It's ok to keep it to yourself and your healthcare provider. Just know that you don't have to "suck it up" and that you will be alright. You can find joy in things again.
So that's pretty much it. Sorry if it's a little disjointed, I'll sit on it as a draft and see how it looks after a good nights sleep.
Have fun hobbying your way and I'll see you around.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255
Sorry to hear, you've been feeling depressed lately. But it sounds like you're doing the right thing to make it better. Keep blogging in whichever format you want and whatever about. All the best.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ray, I will do. All the best to you as well.
DeleteI empathise wholeheartedly with you and the real-life problems we all suffer from, from time to time. My blg posts are now mostly about what I'm currently trying to do, even if it takes me three or more weeks to do somehting I could probably do in a couple of days.
ReplyDeleteIt goo though to hear anythin gfrom anyone these days, I can think of quite a few blogs that haven't seen the light of day for ages, which is worrying at times.
Stay safe, write about what you want to, have a rant, review a book/film, or anything that interest you. It'll interest us too !
Stay safe, mentally and pysically and my email canbe found on my blog profile if you want to 'chat;.
Thank you Zabadak. Yes, it is a little concerning these days when blogs go dark. I'm also with you on the feeling of taking too long to do simple things. But like you said, I'm just going to forge ahead and do what I can. I also need to make a little more of an effort to participate in blogging again. I got away from the community. See you on the interwebs.
DeleteMate that's sad to hear, but like Ray and Zabadak have said, it's great that you are tackling your pain head-on. Not easy, believe me I know, my struggle is daily and I keep it to myself for better or worse.
ReplyDeleteAs for blogging - keep in mind this whole hobby of ours is for our "free time". There are no time restrictions or deadlines to have to worry about unless we impose them on ourselves. That includes for posting here. Paint/assemble if you want and as your energy allows, write and post in much the same way. One post a month, or otherwise, just think of it like this (This is how I see it for working out too!): anything, even the smallest basecoat is "progress" and how often it's attempted or shown off, it still counts as "progress". (And you know there are still quite a few of us who still check our feeds daily or so.)
I hope the life gut-punch is not insurmountable and that you can find your happiness again my friend. You have my email and phone number.
Thanks Dai. Yeah I'll start posting again soon. Just got distracted with life stuff. I'll be in touch.
DeleteI think social media in general (which blogs are part of) are good at pushing up the anxiety and stress level due to the 'glamour' of other peoples apparent lives. I'd be very happy to see more work in progress blogs. Especially if it meant more posts and more chances to share comments!
ReplyDeleteHi Dave, thanks. Yeah, I'm gonna do more wip type of stuff and try to be more active again.
DeleteWell done on nine years; sorry to hear things have been rough and wishing you well for the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Barks, thanks. Best wishes to you as well.
DeleteHello Sean,
ReplyDeleteFirstly I am glad you are reaching out and getting help for your depression. The black dog is a dark pit. Hang in there. Mate, you started your blog only a year or two after I started mine and I think of you as part of my first circle in the community of bloggers. I have read every single one of your posts since the blog started (yep, I really have been following and reading). I may not comment as much as I used to but I will continue to read whatever you post. You are part of a the wide wargaming blogging community and we are here for you and will read as long as you write. Write want you want to - the blog is for your enjoyment first and our enjoyment flows from that.
While I cannot begin to understand what you are going through I do have friends that do. And I wish you the best in finding the tools to get though the dark. And if blogging is part of that, then woo-hoo (!) for us readers.
Hi Shaun, thanks very much for your comment. At a certain point I got overwhelmed by all the content people were producing and lost touch with a lot of the early blogs. I will get back to things, just a lot on my mind and drawing my attention hither and yon these days. Hopefully what I write will be interesting and/or useful.
DeleteHey man, you can talk to me anytime you want. I know that it sometimes suck but no one is really alone out there. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThanks Xathrodox86, I really appreciate it. Same goes for you. I'm only a message or skype call away.
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